Those pants look like they’d be super comfy for exactly one wash.

And that time he told us all that he’s uncircumcised and didn’t know.

Wendy’s used to be a comfort food for me, and now I don’t even go. They were fine until they started messing with the fries, but they also started trying too hard with limited time products and the new frosty things.

Most of urine’s benefits can actually be attributed to reducing stress by not thinking.

I can’t decide if only reading one third of something that’s all on one page is better or worse than divining the contents of an article from its title.

Which is 69.44 orchards, of course.

The problem is that it got through, so the metal detector isn’t working, and nobody noticed.

Ouch. Wonder how many contaminated feet of fruit are out there now.

Remember when Nintendo had to be sued to make them repair their (blindingly expensive) flimsy-ass joycons, and then they decided to make the Switch 2 with the exact same defective parts?

I’m shocked he was willing to go that low.

I was going to say Napoleon Dynamite, but after reading your description, I’m going to say Napoleon Dynamite. When asked what time period it takes place in, the director said “Idaho,” which places it squarely in the post-apocalypse. Exploration? Yes. Adventure? Of course! Love and hope? Maybe. No spoilers.

Golden Eagle. I could carry groceries.

I’d do the eye deal so that I could take out bad drivers. Just have sheets and sheets of “___ pulls over safely, parks, and turns off the car, then has a heart attack.” with a mount so that I could fill in the names as I go.

The thing that fucks me up every time is that campus police are allowed to handle crimes that aren’t, say, parking or littering. How did we even get to the point that schools were allowed to cover up crimes to save their reputations? Why is Cornell giving state police a role that they should’ve had the whole time?