TouchMacaque

I’m no anatomy professor, all I know is dick goes in the food tube, inhaled drugs go in the lung tube and of you do both at once you’ve got yourself a headlining spot on the circus

The swallowy tube where food goes to live, not the breathy tube where air makes lung balloon

I see this guy didn’t turn his pubes into cubes with the new Minecraft puber cuber. Guy’s way behind the times.

One billion dollars can buy a fuck ton of beanie babies, hold onto them for 30 years and they would be worth millions of dollars!

Meet me at the Texas dog cock museum and we’ll sort this out like real femboys.

It’s just about the only thing I ever eat

You know several years ago I modified my dad’s asshole to dispense coins whenever he got punched in the face. I signed him up for boxing and made a lot of money every time he lost. I got a lot of shit from people about it though because he had dementia but I used the money on an experimental dementia treatment for him that caused him to die. Lucky for me I brought him to a taxidermist to have him stuffed and the unlimited coins out the asshole trick still works.

This meme is about at good as eating the dog shit you stepped on in the parking lot off your shoes in a Walmart change room while getting a blowie from the self checkout machine’s card reader. The security guards don’t like that you take the checkout machine away into the change room either. What I’m getting at is that it fuckin sucks man.

My favorite apple update so far is the Honeycrisp, deliciously sweet and doesn’t turn brown within 2 minutes. Perfect for turning into a pipe and smoking meth out of and then turning into a candy apple once done. I like to keep all the candy apples and give them out to the elves on Christmas Eve as a thank you for helping Santa fulfill the Christian prophecy of toy socialism for children.