Monument

Mmmm Crab Racoons.

You know how you can run your hand over velvet and it changes color slightly depending on how you’ve mussed the fibers?

I have a another weird spot for you.

Look at the rug.
Someone must have the most consistent pattern of travel ever.

I’m annoyed when a bloodbath on Wall Street is reported and 1.) the blood in question is metaphorical; 2.) it’s the retirement funds of average people that suffer because those who make a living gambling on these stocks have a lot more flexibility to dance around changing market conditions (and take tax write offs if they do manage to lose money).

Her hobbies are being a stock photo model and self-inflicted pain.

Checkmate, atheists nerds.

Woof. The 80’s were rough.

Thank you. I really appreciated your comment, and I agree with you.
I’m in much the same boat. Perhaps not so practiced in wielding the tools or so ingrained in reaching for them, but… trying. It’s reassuring to see and hear from folks who share their stories.

Currently in the beginning phases of EMDR therapy, and trying to get to that point where the harms of the past hold less power. The outward manifestation toward others tends to be fairly pro-social, but I’m still struggling with the inner thoughts a lot. Hoping with effort and practice that changes.

I’m glad my intent is coming across, even though I wasn’t very clear with it. I didn’t explicitly say that it’s not acceptable to harm others if you’ve been harmed: it’s not, and I aspire to not do damage to others, even as I sometimes poorly navigate my way through life.
I felt compelled to jump in to give a more human face to how challenging it can be to get from one point to another.

I’m in a very similar situation. I’ve struggled for a long time to find a workable therapist. Fragile trust, ADHD, and CPTSD. I’ve done some CBT work, and found a therapist I really trust. I’m now in the beginning phases of EMDR.

If you read only the black text, the sign is telling people it’s perfectly fine to be victims of their circumstances.

Jokes aside, I reluctantly agree with the sentiment that one or two commenters have expressed that it’s awful privileged to assume it’s within the capacity of those who endured childhood trauma to just “be better”.
At every moment of every day, I carry a wound with me that tells me I’m not good enough, that I’m both physically and mentally in danger, and that everyone and everything I trust will turn on me at a moment’s notice.
It’s a bit like handling a curve on a bike or car. On good days I feel like gentle tug of inertia trying to pull me from the path I’m steering toward. In this metaphor, the curves are the little challenges that are thrown at you socially. I see the edge of the mental road and all the darkness that lies beyond it, but I can handle it with grace and move in the direction I’d like. On bad days - most days, honestly - it’s not so gentle of a pull. I’m sliding right into panic and fear because of the trauma that was built into me. It takes a considerable effort and a lot of energy to not be antisocial, to not indulge in things that protect my wounds.

It sucks. And it’s not because I’m not being better, it’s because my starting point is farther back and with fewer resources.

(And time, apparently, as I’m rushing to finish this comment - apologies if that rush comes through with incomplete thoughts.)

Sorry - YouTube

HSoiW

I was going to reference this scene from Everything Everywhere All At Once, but got distracted by the fact that the studio is selling hotdog finger gloves.

… huh. That’s weird.

“Systematically building electronics laboratory.”

That’s so much nicer than saying I’m constantly trying and failing at my hobbies as I realize how little I know and how ill prepared I am for my ambitions.

What else could ‘community safety’ mean here? They’re planning it from the start.

My dog cast that today.

She had bloody poop and couldn’t stand.

So I’m here.
Waiting on a phone call from the emergency vet.