We have https://www.myticktalk.com/ for our kids. It does everything you need, there are HA integrations, however I have not tried them. It’s specifically designed for kids, no games so their eyeballs won’t be glued to it. All the other watches that had the features you listed also had gamification of the usage of the watch by the kids, this does not. Every aspect of the watch and app features are configurable and controlled by the parent.

There were chocolates called Ice Cubes that were that size of the bullion and came in shiny metal wrapper. So you were not off in your thinking if you ever ate one of those chocolates.

I thought you were trolling, but unfortunately not. People really are auctioning single balls of seasoning for those prices in USD… Looks like none are showing under sold.