Tailscale ssh isn’t enabled by default and I for one don’t see the need for it.
Your choice is valid, but you’ve chosen to be responsible for adding new clients everywhere and making sure they can all connect to each other, etc. you have simpler software but more manual work, which is a valid choice if you’re up for it.
Yes, versus vanilla wine, ntsync is a significant improvement.
Most gamers won’t see that big a difference, though. Steam has been using fsync for a long time, and vs fsync, ntsync is more correct but not necessarily any faster.