It’s never the beer talking. It’s the real you.

On a festival, many moons ago, long before mobile phones were ubiquitous. Sharing tent camp with friends of friends that I was barely acquainted with. One early evening one of them got a bit too drunk and was left behind by his buddies, leaving my girlfriend and me to help him before our next concert was up. So he decided I’m his best friend for being nice and also that I’m much too nice so I deserve having my head bashed in, switching between the two with a few minutes of each. He was a muscle builder strong man type that did boxing. I was not. Was a tad stressful.

He was very apologetic next day but I decided to keep my distance anyway.

I was younger and drinking with my friends and my gf. There was another girl in my friend group named Melanie that my gf was always nervous about. I suddenly thought of a way to put her mind at ease. I turned to her and said “I’ve always thought Melanie was ugly”. That’s when I realized it was Melanie sitting next to me.

Had friends with whom back-and-forth ass-slapping is pretty customary and fun/funny. Slapped ass with different friends without thinking about it. Did not go over well.

My first marriage.