I went years not eating these because of the terror and anxiety of having to open one. And one day by chance (dropped it in the sink that had water in it.) I found the secret to not getting the piss scared out of you.
Here it is. These cans are cardboard. Cardboard disintegrates in water.
If you peel back just a little of the paper. And sit it in a bowl, Make sure the side you peeled is facing down. and pour in a little water.
Then quickly leave the room or put it in your fridge or something. And in a minute or two it will pop open. And you will hear it from a safe distance. And you will be okay.
I remember once one popped in my car on the way home from the store. I thought I’d been shot at.
I fucking hate these things. Back in the day, you used a spoon and knew when it would pop. Who the fuck decided my biscuits should include a jump scare? Fuck whichever designer made me afraid of biscuits.
Yeah I think technically you are still supposed to use the spoon. But sometimes it would pop before you tried the spoon.
I just use water now and run into the other room to hide.
This was explicitly marketed as a no spoon thing, where you just peel the tab(?). It pops when it pops.
e: isn’t that the yellow string to the right in your picture?
Maybe it depends on the brand.?
Or time frame?
Maybe they used to require a spoon but now are “spoon free”.
Or maybe the spoon free wrap is proprietary. So only the pilsbury ones are spoon free while the generic ones I buy, are not.
?
Edit- okay so I have a can in my fridge. Its aldi brand.
Says to use spoon.
I have no idea what the thing on the right is. Never saw it around here in europe.
It’s premade dough that cooks into biscuits. But not the cookie sweet kind.
American biscuits which are mostly just butter and flour. They are pretty good fresh. Like muffins but get dry and stale fast. Like muffins.
Part of the prep (if you are making home made,) is rolling the dough out and layering/folding it over and over.
So the biscuits pull apart easily. Like in the direction of hamburger buns. Making it easy to turn them into little breakfast sandwiches.
Where I’m from, in the Midwest, it’s very popular to eat them with sausage gravy. Just the biscuits and gravy. Nothing else.
Used to be cheap to make at home and even cheap at restaurants.
A lot of (all?) 24 hr tuck stop restersunts serve them. So it’s also popular with drunk people at 3 am.
(Truck stop restaurants are usually small dinners attached to gas stations. Usually outside city limits. That are open 24 hrs to serve truckers. But also popular with night people. Sometimes they even have showers. )
You just smack it on the edge of the counter. What the fuck?
Autism.
It’s actually called the startle reflex.
A lack of the startle reflex can be indicative of neurological problems. So it’s a pretty good feature to have.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Startle_response
However, like many reflexes, it can be over-ridden with effort.
Being ready for a response can often help negate a startle reflex.
However, I am unable to do that for these fucking canned biscuits! Although I can for other loud sounds.
I think it’s because I can’t perfectly predict when it will happen.
Years of trauma will not allow me to try breaking the can on the counter. Which would be a way to perfectly predict the sound. But I’ve been fearful of the biscuits for too long.
I’m right there with you. These, and balloons.
People with cptsd have a sensitive reflex. A lot of us people with autism have cPTSD.
Might make such people more prone to being bothered by them.
But anyone can be bothered by these damn biscuits.
Being startled by canned biscuits popping is not a diagnostic criteria for autism or PTSD.
As long as you do it down the middle of the cardboard and not at the ends so the metal cap can fly off and smack you, there’s nothing to fear. I just crack 'em against the corner of the counter top like an egg.
I don’t possess your bravery.
Would you like to play a game?
Omg.
No. I would not.
I always wanted to take this and Operation apart to find a way of combining them to make the “punishment” of failing Perfection more intense. I never had Operation and thought it actually shocked you.
Sure, we can add red lights and a harsh buzzer to Perfection. Let’s just go for full sensory terror!
a laser studded disco ball descends from the ceiling as a megaphone blares out:
“WEEWOOOWEEWOO LOSER! YOU’RE A LOSER!”
eyelid twitches
Huh? If you remove the paper, just karate chop the can and it’ll pop, and it won’t scare you because it’ll be direct feedback from hitting it. You don’t just have to wait for it to go on its own lol
I honestly had no idea people used any method other than this (except banging it on the edge of the counter)
I was taught to push a spoon tip against the crease to open it. I hate opening these because it always pops like a doughy balloon.
It literally has direction on it that say to do this. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills reading these comments.
If canned dough gives you PTSD, you know you can just make your own?
I don’t like baking. And making anything with flour is a huge mess. Because I’m a messy bitch and that’s what what.
Wow, I had that EXACT jack in the box growing up.
You know what. I remember this one too. The box was tin right ?
Idk if it was mine or a cousin but I do remember playing with one. And trying to figure out how to predict the pop out based on song or tension of the arm but I don’t think I ever figured it out.
Sorcery.
I bet if they solved the opening problem they would sell a lot more. Whoever becomes a billionaire from reading this, please drop me like 50,000 please
I know a lot of people that don’t buy them for this reason.
There has to be a better way.
Why wouldn’t they make a product with a built in way of forcing you to use it? Diabolical really.
