I am a guy who moved to a western country a few years ago. I am a vegan, atheist, antinatalist on top of already being an introvert, a privacy enthusiast, and a person from the other end of the world.
I find it extremely hard to find anyone. I literally haven’t been on any dates in, like, 6 years now. I have zero success on dating sites because:
- Most of my values are so extreme to people that they would not want to swipe right on me
- This seems to reinforce the algorithms on the sites, and they score me further lower. When requested data from Bumble, I found out that I swipe right on ~3% on the profiles, Bumble only shows my profile to what amounts to 30% of that 3%, and I am swiped right by only ~1.5% of that.
- I have been blocked a few times before because of stupid stuff like absence of Google Play Services, phone numbers from a different country, etc., which I believe further lowers my score. Also, I do not verify myself, so yay.
(In my opinion, I am an average looking guy, and my photos are okay, so I do not think the photos are the problem)
Between work, a couple of hobbies, gym and recovering from work, I get no time to meet with people in person. Even if I wanted to, there aren’t many common places to meet with new people. I miss when we were young, and could casually make friends in school without even trying.
Some days, I just want to remove all those “filters”, but then I cannot explain the removal logically/philosophically. I wish I could have lived my life in blissful ignorance of everything.
May be I am doing adulting and everything related horribly wrong. But regardless, I just wanted to vent and get it out.
Note: I know that there are people who do not agree with my values. I would be happy to discuss them (not sure if this thread is appropriate for that though), but I would appreciate if you would not outright dismiss them.
Not sure if this will be of any value since the post is ready three months old, but I know exactly what position you’re in.
Try dating subreddits like r4r. Yes, unfortunately it’s reddit. There is no stupid algorithm, there is no profit incentive built upon milking unlucky people, etc.
I found my GF there so this definitely works :)
antinatalist
Oh I’d start with that on a date, women love people with such opinions
Maybe this is an idea: if you want to be wanted by people, make yourself be wanted. Having edgy political opinions front and center isn’t what many people are looking for
Why do you mention your “extreme values” on your dating profile when you suspect that you are sabotaging yourself by doing so?
Because I did not want to mislead them. I thought being frank would get me better quality matches, who are more aligned with me. But, to be honest, I don’t really know what the best thing to do is given the algorithm is proprietary. May be I should just remove them in just for better scores, and then handle it in the chat if I get a match.
If your in the us plenty of people to meet at protests.
Not there (un)fortunately, but honestly, I’d shit scared of being seen in a protest, me being a (legal) immigrant.