I’m pretty close to being who I can bother to be. I should be better at visiting family, I should be better at talking to my friends, but anything involving people exhausts me.

I don’t want people to have glowing opinions or me or even be overly impressed. What I do want them to describe me with is that I cared. Maybe not for them, but in general. “He’s quiet and detached, but his actions showed he cares in his own way.”

I spend time around holidays creating little gifts for my dentist, doctor’s office, co-workers, and other places I visit. Why? Partly because I want to make a difference. I want to make an impact. Did my little gift brighten someone’s day? If it did then it was worth it. If it didn’t then better luck next year.

A selfish part of me wants it to be an expectation. That if I ever die or move on they might wonder why I stopped. That I might be remembered for it. I guess it’s just my way to leave my mark on the lives of those around me.

I just want to be authentically me, and I think im pretty good at that :3

Hm, I want to be the stoic guy who is reliable. I think with the reliability I’m quite close, the stoicism - hm - yeah depending on how close something is I sometimes get really affected and can’t stay stoic, so still some work to be done.

I never wanted to be anything, and I was exceptionally successful at that so far. :/

I want to be free from social expectations of who I should be.

I’m already me. why would I want to be anyone else?

seems a bit conceited to me, to want to be something you’re not. leave that to the actors and the actresses, just be yourself. its perfectly okay to be yourself and nothing else… after all, it just takes some time, little girl, you’re in the middle of the ride. everything, everything, is gonna be alright (alright). above all else, just never let them distract you from that time in nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet into the announcers table.

I want to be me, I am me, I’d say it’s going well.

I want to be me. I am here. People should describe me carefully.

Wise and kind! It’s an eternal WIP but there have definitely been some developments, especially regarding my mental health and ideology/understandings, and overall maturity… I think my neurodivergence, combined with childhood trauma, created some hills I had to climb, and it has also shaped me irreversibly, but I find I have enough free will to make accumulating changes.

My family and friends often come to me either to have a shoulder to cry on or for advice, even my co-workers (some of them are my friends now as well) will open up, expecting what my vibes are selling, I guess, and I always find it endearing (couple of times it’s been shocking and kinda made me panic as in “what do I say here?!” but that’s how it goes sometimes). I think people find me at least reliable and understanding (which does not discount me being weird AF in some areas,sometimes annoying or even, rarely, hurtful, and that’s the whole package), which is not bad already.

I want to be a somewhat competent human. I am not even close to achieving that.

totally not doing what I intended work wise. meant to do reasearch and teach at the collegiac level and did IT work instead. Love never had really thought about it. I mean thought I might meet someone and have kids. Did meet someone and I think we have about as good a relationship as anyone. No kids and that was definately a decision we made and agree on. Did not think to much about health. Who I am as a person is about where I would want to be excpet I have this obsession with truth and its been much more elusive. I mean to the point of it being kinda tilting at windmills.

The way I act, is pretty close to how I’d hope anyone would. It has a cost, so I’m willing to just say that, even though it’s a bit of a brag.

The actual impact is still pretty small. I guess I wish I was better at things, so it would matter more.

No one is stopping me from becoming a different person if I wanted to so the fact that I’m not taking dramatic steps to change indicates that I’m probably roughly where I want to be.

I do admire people like Andrew Camarata for their work ethic, but again - nothing is stopping me from doing the same, yet I don’t, so maybe I just want the results, not what it actually takes to get there.

My role model is Snufkin character from the Moomin cartoon/anime. A quiet, humble, independent professional.

Want to be a person accredited to the creation of european federalization/unity, known for being a true statesmen. I come from poverty and i know i wont have it easy bc of boomer politicians and the political dynasties, but i wont be demoralized just because the odds are against me. Spite is hell of a motivator!

VOLT is small, and with nationalists, fascists and even nazis being ever more a present and threat to democracy and peace in europe ever since 1950, and conservatives flirting with them like its the 1920s/30s it seems we are still faar from it but have to first defend/regain our sovereignity and democracy. But the idea of european federalism is growing.