Many of us have heard the deprecating characterizations of many countries. Like Putin described the UK as an “insignificant little Island”, and Russia has been characterized as a “mob run gas station” or Trump calling El Salvador, Haiti and African countries as “shithole countries”.
Let’s flip things around for a bit of fun. After a heavy night of drinking with your country’s head of tourism, you have one shot to give your best self-depricating characterization of your country for a new border sign.
I’ll go first:
Welcome to Canada - Enjoy world class sexual assault in sport – Come and play!
I tried, but it came out more bitter than self-deprecating
“The world thinks we are efficient and have no humor. In reality, our trains are a joke.”
Duitchland but small and with cheese
Small patch of unnaturally flat earth filled to the brim with a mix of moody, always busy, direct to your face, cheese farm descendants turned bureaucrats, drug-den youngsters, aging white boomers that own every piece of real-estate and immigrants from EVERY corner of the planet, all 18 million of whom are perpetually unfulfilled in life even though they’re supposedly ranked 7th in world’s best list. - “Happy” Holland
We get left off maps…often!
What’s that island again? Tanzania? No… Tazmania? Yes, that must be the one.
“Australia is the arse end of the world.”
Attributed (and slightly paraphrased) to ex-Prime Ministers Kevin Rudd, Paul Keating (who later denied saying anything of the sort), and Bob Hawke (need a necromancer to find out if he really said it).
Welcome to Belgium: Rubber or Hands?
Dynasty
Oh man, where to start - America
We all think it’s the greatest country in the world.
Also… we never actually learned the names of any other countries in school, so it’s kinda impossible to name any alternatives.
Turkey managed to convert a secularist revolution into a religious dictatorship.
We’re nice now, we swear, please buy our cars.
Either Japan or Germany!
I can’t speak for them but I’d suspect Japan has moved on to “please buy our big breasted animu babes douzo yoroshikuwu”. Good for them honestly.
Would you like to supersize that description for only a dollar more?
As responsible for the fate of the third world, but everybody blames America! (10pts)
cheeseburger genetics
