What’s next, Hot Pockets with used tampons?.. 🤔

Of course, yeah.

Mix powdered urine with your shampoo like the rest of us, about equal parts of both.

You can thank me later.

Hot Pockets, now filled with Nesquik powder…

Obligatory fuck Nestlé though

Now look here you leaking Tide Pod…

Sip it? That’s not a straw, that’s a garden hose, and she’s standing up. She’d be trying to suck something like the volume and weight of like a quarter gallon to even fill the hose up.

From a standing position, that would be one hell of a feat, and probably lungs slap full of gasoline fumes. No I wouldn’t be lying on the ground to start a siphon, but I definitely would start in a crouching position so as to not have to fight all the weight of the volume of fuel to fill the hose.

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Siphoning doesn’t work unless you and the hose are underneath the level of fuel/liquid in the tank.

Don’t ask how I know this, but I should probably call her…

And save my powdered jorts!

Yes of course.

But, even assuming the advertised weight was correct, where’s the chicken bacon ranch filling?

They were like 99% bread dough. Like hell, I would have got more filling if I jacked off in them first, and that’s assuming Nestlé didn’t already do that for me.

Like WTF?

Giggity giggity puke 🤮

Also, now my dick is stuck, plz halp…

Sigh, unzips…

If I may politely ask, will you keep your fecal sphincter private please?

🤣

To recover implies that your asshole was covered in the first place…

I do think I’ll make this my final comment on this posted document, to add to whatever historical context anyone wants or cares to take from it.

This is not a screenshot, it came from a yellow pamphlet slap full of physical paper ‘memes’ that my late father gave me from the 70s/80s before the word meme was even a thing. This was legit half moldy old paper funnies from long ago, during the Xerox office copier era.

I scanned some of them in on my potato 300dpi scanner like 20 years ago, including this one. Ultimately I ended up losing most of the contents of that old hard drive to drive failure, but this one document interested me.

Why? Not even the funny factor, but the fact that I couldn’t get official OCR software of the time to even read the damn text. So, I wrote my own G-D experimental OCR software in QuickBasic 4.5, meant to read as best as possible potato quality scans.

And this became my test document for my own adaptive OCR software, loosely 20 years ago. That’s the only reason this document even survives to this day, because it got copied from the old old folder into an experimental old OCR project folder, as the main working test sample, because potato…

TL;DR - This is not a screenshot, I scanned it myself roughly 2 decades ago, nor do I still have the copy of a copy of a copy of however many copies it made on the Xerox machines of the day. It is what it is, and I’m not gonna edit a single pixel. Leave it be, for sake of history…

What a terrible day to be literate.

Just… just take my upvote before I change my mind. 👍

Username checks out

OP here, I have since edited my post to add such advised disclaimer. 👍

Fun fact: The pixels can’t hurt you.

If the scanned image upsets you, well at least Lemmy filtered the bad word out of the OCR transcribed text.

Try to laugh once in a while, it helps relieves stress.

Only 1 hook? I was hoping for 2. ☹