I wanted to be a developer, and create the kind of games that I wanted to play. Now, I just want to survive.

I feel that there is some world that others were brought into, that I was left too long to believe that I am a part of it, and I suffered a lot, trying to have the normalcy that others take for granted.

This is not my world, I don’t belong in it. My goal is to become independent enough to not have to worry about other humans exploiting me at all, or die trying.

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: December 5th, 2024

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  • I mean, bonus points for dignity, but she was drunk and could not really consent iirc.

    Maybe I am overly cautious, aggressive due to well… I am bitter too, I feel like I am lesser than others.

    But I decided to just leave it alone, as I am not entitled to like sex and stuff. But I just don’t complain, and I feel insulted to hear someone else feel entitled like that. It is hard not to see it as a bad thing.

    Ironically, I had someone interested in me even recently, but I politely declined due to standards.

    At the same time, I gave up because. well, I can just feel that I am not that complete as a person.

    I am broken, and also dirty in many ways. I don’t feel I am for even friendships, even society, let alone a romantic or sexual relationship.

    I technically am where I am by choice, so not an incel per-se, but I also reject myself. I get this, and it irritates me if I feel someone is entitled.

    I just want to feel nothing and produce, without taking anything anymore.