• Frigidlollipop@lemmy.world
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    3 minutes ago

    That you should always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I grew up that turning the other cheek and taking the high road was righteous. It was freeing to realize that even though it might not be 100% someone’s fault; sometimes a racist is a racist, even if they’ve never had the opportunity to broaden their horizon. The alcoholic is choosing not to get help, even if they have a good reason to want to drink. That asshole is an asshole, even if their father beat them as a child.

    I hadn’t realized what an emotional burden I’d taken on trying to excuse the bad behavior of others until I came to the realization I needed to stop.

  • TaeKwonDoh@lemmy.world
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    36 minutes ago

    A long time ago, I actually believed in the myth that if taxes are lowered for the rich, they’d have more capital to spend.

    With that extra capital, I was taught that they’d use the opportunity of lower taxes and more money in their pocket to invest in the economy, with the understanding that we’d all benefit from what they invest in, such as higher wages, private control over public services (after seeing them decline for so long), fostering in a freer market due to fewer regulations over it.

    So what blew off the cover of that lie? Seeing, over time, that a lot of what George Carlin observed about American society and government rings true.

    This got the ball rolling while working regular jobs. Noticing the behaviors of the typical CEO, reading up on the stagnation of wages since 1980, and the prospect of societal control through a poorly educated populace went a long way towards painting a clearer picture of what we’re all facing now.

  • Fizz@lemmy.nz
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    3 hours ago

    Free speech on platforms. I used go think it was good to have platforms where people can broadcast any message. Now i think when broadcasting you should be held to certain standards and punished for breaking them. I genuinely believe political pundits should be arrested for blatantly lying day in and day out.

    It shouldnt be to hard to prove they know they were lying its been done before.

  • BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world
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    5 hours ago

    I used to think progress in tech will solve societies problems, now I think it concentrates too much power in the hands of some of the worst people in society and needs to be federally regulated at some level with safeguards and checks.

      • themaninblack@lemmy.world
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        5 hours ago

        Once I got a grasp of the probabilities given the size of the universe, I was all aboard the aliens are real train

        • mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works
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          4 hours ago

          The issue with the Drake equation is that it doesn’t factor in the fact that the cosmos changes over time and that there’s a lot of space that is hostile to life or doesn’t have the needed resources. Nor does it factor in the time required to evolve intelligent life

          Earlier in the age of the universe, there was too much radiation and not enough heavier elements due to most on those elements being created in supernovae.

          It wasn’t until recently that we have “goldilocks zones” in galaxies. Centers of galaxies have too much radiation due to how common more massive stars are there. Meanwhile, edges of galaxies never had enough material to drive lots of star formation, so they still don’t have a lot of needed heavier elements.

          And the solar system is currently travelling through a massive bubble of relatively low density of material caused by a large supernova billions of years ago. That’s resulted in even less exposure to radiation for the entire time that life has existed on Earth. And add the fact that the Solar system’s orbital mechanics results in Jupiter shielding us fron tons of asteroid impacts.

          The most likely solution to the Fermi Paradox is that we’re among the first instances of life in the universe

        • fyzzlefry@retrolemmy.com
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          5 hours ago

          My hang up is that really stupid people are able to keep it secret.

          I’m on the FTL travel is impossible train. They exist, we can just never interact.

  • DireTech@sh.itjust.works
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    8 hours ago

    Universal healthcare and confederate history in the South.

    When the Obamacare talks started I thought it was a terrible idea because all I’d heard was how has the government was and didn’t know how bad healthcare and insurance were. Now I think universal healthcare is a great idea, but I still think we’re dumb for trying for it at the federal level. California is as wealthy and populous as Canada and it makes a lot more sense for them to go their own way and have like minded states follow than to try and convince states like Florida it’s a good idea.

    Confederacy in the south is weird. I was raised learning about the biased southern version, calling it the war of northern aggression, going to battle re-enactments and daughters of the confederacy get togethers. It wasn’t until I looked into the real history on my own that I discovered how terrible the South was, that they fired the first shot and most importantly that the whole celebration of the souths history started late in the 1900s as a rascist response to try and white wash history.

    • motionofethre@piefed.social
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      5 hours ago

      I was never so pro-States rights until I watched the American reality TV show. Fuck the fed.

      I want taxation and most institutions going through the state first.

  • grammaticerror@lemmy.world
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    7 hours ago

    Anti-natalism. For many years I thought people should really, seriously not reproduce. Then I heard “Rust” by Yussef Dayes and “Inner Flight” by Makaya McCraven. I’ve loved music my whole life, but for whatever reason these two hit different. If people having kids leads to those kids making art like this, then maybe it’s alright.

  • antlion@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    8 hours ago

    Beliefs in general or certainty. I was an atheist. I thought I knew that Bigfoot was a hoax. Now I’m more open minded. Doesn’t mean I really believe the opposite now. Kinda like in the movie Dogma, Rufus talks about ideas vs. beliefs. In conclusion:

    All I know is that I don’t know nothin’

  • orlyowl@piefed.ca
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    14 hours ago

    I used to think US police were probably good guys making the right call most of the time. When something fishy hit the news I tended to think “they must have had a reason.”

    Then there was the killing of Walter Scott.

    That put a crack in it for me, but it was 2020 that really spun me the rest of the way around. And not just George Floyd himself. It was how police conducted themselves during the protests - every day I saw clips of cops escalating or being brutal to protesters. And several more high profile cases of police brutality happened during the same time. I admit I can’t remember a lot of the names now but I remember them - the kid with the sandwich shot in the back as he tried to enter his home, the guy with the phone in his hand shot in his friend’s garage, the old woman who had her arm dislocated and was then mocked while the cops replayed the video and bragged about it. And others… And always it was that the cops were shown to be liars by video evidence.

    I ended 2020 with the view that I believe nothing cops say about any situation without video evidence to back them up. I will never again assume they “must have had a reason” or assume they are making a good faith effort to be truthful. It’s been far too consistent that every time there is a controversy, a video makes liars out of them.

  • Burn_The_Right@lemmy.today
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    14 hours ago

    I was born and raised in the deep south (U.S.) surrounded by conservatives. I retired in the south with 98% conservative colleagues. I spent 50 years turning the other cheek to conservatives, being patient, using the Socratic method, being a good son, a good grandson, a good brother, good friend and good neighbor to conservatives. Then Trump came along.

    I now see how absolutely short-sighted and naive I was thinking the arrogant, unintelligent, bigoted, hateful, grinning monsters all around me could ever possibly become kind humans. Conservatives are exactly as evil as they appear. It’s not an illusion and they will never change.

    Conservatives are biologically unable to experience empathy. This core understanding of conservatives explains so much about them. Their relationships are shallow because deep connections require empathy. It explains why bigotry and cruelty comes so easily to them. It explains how they can literally brag about killing a puppy and receive positive feedback from fellow conservatives.

    I will never trust a conservative again as long as I live. I cannot unsee how genuinely cruel and evil they are and I can no longer be misled to believe they can change. It took a lifetime, but I understand what they are now and I am appropriately horrified by them.

    • potoooooooo 🥔@lemmy.world
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      10 hours ago

      This has been me, too, and it’s literally my entire family. Aaaaaall of them. Siblings, parents, cousins, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles. My own children are the only exception. I’ve lost all respect for every last one of my family members, which is pretty lonely, but not something I can ever undo, since it’s so damn warranted.

      • Burn_The_Right@lemmy.today
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        9 hours ago

        As quiet as we all are in public about this, just know you are not mourning the loss of your family and friends alone. There are many millions of us experiencing this profound grief and upset. You are not alone in this, despite how isolating and lonely it can feel sometimes.

  • NABDad@lemmy.world
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    17 hours ago

    Israel.

    I used to support Israel, until I heard about them executing children in Gaza.

    • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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      4 hours ago

      that has to do with MSMs never reporting israel in a bad light, its always Hamas did this to israel, or that. and then you realized most of the msm’s politicians are practically captured by israel via epstein honeypots.

    • SpacemanSpiff@lemmy.zip
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      5 hours ago

      Important reminder to everyone that Gaza is still under an illegal embargo than the UN called a crime against humanity back in 2020. Still no international observers allowed in. And they’ve just dropped some more bombs on Gaza earlier this week, killing a bunch of civilians, including a hospital bombed on November 13th where they killed 6

      And keep in mind that according to Israel’s own defence ministry, they were limiting the calories entering Gaza for many years to “keep Gaza’s economy on the brink of collapse”, while simultaneously openly funding Hamas

    • T00l_shed@lemmy.world
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      8 hours ago

      Same, to be fair I was more or less ignorant until Oct 7, then about Oct 8th I realized just how fucking awful israel is

      • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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        4 hours ago

        and the sheer amount of propaganda(post-oct7 2023) they tried to forced through social media, MSMs, especially on reddit. if they dint tried so hard to do that, i think people would be blisfully ignorant. also they timed the attack in time for the election season to help trump win.

        • T00l_shed@lemmy.world
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          1 hour ago

          100%. I’m glad they did try so hard though because it allowed me, and many others to lift the veil

  • FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world
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    14 hours ago

    I used to be a dyed-in-the-wool optimist. Now, I’m an avowed cynic, and most people don’t realize it because I’m generally a cheerful person and that serves to mask it somewhat.

    My entire adult life has corresponded to the regressive post-9/11 loss of economic and civil liberty that has drastically impacted the poor and working class in America.

    Thing is, I truly believed in Obama. I went to a rally where Michelle spoke in September 2008. In late October, Obama dropped by for a rally, and there were so many of us that the organizers had to cut the line off and we had to sit on a nearby hill and just listen. I was 100%, absolutely certain that real, lasting change was coming.

    But nope. Our two wars became seven. (That we know of.) Occupy was brutally crushed by the NYPD with Obama’s tacit approval. Police became militarized, even after Ferguson. Torture continued and the War on Terror continued unabated, despite Obama having a mandate to end it. No one from Wall Street that crashed our economy for profit went to prison, even though a foreclosure crisis followed. Life began to become unaffordable and the minimum wage stayed at $7 an hour. Despite having the votes to universalize health care, Obama made it more expensive instead. The cherry on top was that Obama gave us Tom Homan.

    All of these problems have continued and worsened in the decade since 2016, despite both parties having total power for years at a time.

    Now, no matter who we elect at the federal (and mostly state) level, I know things are never getting better.

    My only power is local. Thankfully, my city is doing good things, so there’s that, but if I had the money to do so I’d leave this country completely and reside abroad instead.

  • spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
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    15 hours ago

    literally yesterday a book changed my mind about how much alcohol I’m comfortable consuming

    since I’ve started getting horrible hangovers in my 30s I’ve limited myself to 1-2 drinks in one evening, once a month or so, and that worked for me

    the book detailed how alcohol absolutely wrecks your sleep. yeah i think I’m done drinking for the rest of my life now lol

    • Burn_The_Right@lemmy.today
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      14 hours ago

      Congratulations. You have had one of the healthiest epiphanies you will ever have. I relate very much, although I am probably twice your age. I wish I had that realization 30 years ago.

      If you ever have a strong urge to drink again, if it’s legal where you are, a light dose of THC might satisfy you instead. It’s not for everyone, but that’s worked very well for me.

      Again, congratulations. Getting away from alcohol is a move so healthy, you should be proud of yourself for it.

      • spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
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        14 hours ago

        thanks :]

        ah, i enjoyed THC when I got to try it in a legal state. sadly psychosis runs in my family and I decided even that much fun wasn’t worth the risk

        I’m very lucky I’m nerdy enough to get “high” off of just goofing around with friends (and lucky I have the friends!)

  • jpreston1986@lemmy.world
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    16 hours ago

    When I first learned that people were transitioning their gender, I was very much “live and let live,” but took exception at having to call people their preferred pronoun. It seemed like a rigged game to me, like they wanted you to guess at what their gender is, and if you got it wrong, you’re a bigot.

    Then my wife was like “what harm does it do to call them what they prefer?”

    And I thought about all the hurtful names people teased me with at school, and how I wished they would’ve just called me by my name.

    So I said “OK,” and that was that. It hasn’t been as hard as I thought to recognize what people wish to be called. Unless you’re dealing with a “they/them,” then they gotta tell you. Or if you’re dealing with a butch lesbian that dresses boy-ish. On those occasions, I just try not to use any pronouns or talk to them extensively for fear of messing up.

    • Zacryon@feddit.org
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      4 hours ago

      for fear of messing up

      Don’t have fear. As long as you try and are respectful, it’s fine. Even though awareness about this is much better than maybe 20 years ago, a lot of people are still not used to it and are missing the necessary personal experience. Of course they might have difficulties adjusting. But as long as they are polite and try to improve, trans people can be expected to deal with it. Those who immediately call you a bigot are entitled assholes, imo.

      It’s a fair common ground: you respect the identity of the trans person, and the trans person forgives you innocent mistakes.

    • Fondots@lemmy.world
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      13 hours ago

      like they wanted you to guess at what their gender is, and if you got it wrong, you’re a bigot.

      FWIW, for anyone else who has these sorts of thoughts, most people trans/nonbinary people I’ve met don’t tend to get particularly hung up on it if you guess wrong.

      They live in the same world you do, they own mirrors, they know how they look, and in a lot of cases they probably spend a whole lot more time agonizing over how they look than anyone else because they’re worrying about whether or not they can pass.

      Just take your best guess and if they or someone else corrects you, just apologize and try to do better. You’re probably gonna fuck up, you have a lifetime of indoctrination in the gender binary to unlearn. It happens. I have a friend who’s been dating a nonbinary person for years and occasionally still messes up and uses the wrong pronouns, it happens. The femboy wearing a skirt probably isn’t gonna be offended no matter what pronouns you use for them. The butch lesbian with a buzz cut has probably already been mistaken for a guy 7 times today, it’s nothing new. Trans and non-binary people have probably spent most of their life using pronouns they don’t like, and sure they’d prefer you use the right ones, but it’s nothing new to them.

      If you’re unsure when you meet someone and they don’t broach the subject off the bat, go ahead and spell out your own pronouns so they can feel safe to do the same.

      Or just stick to they/them. It’s a little awkward sometimes, it takes some getting used to, but the only people I’ve ever seen get offended by it are bigots who I don’t mind offending anyway.

      Sure, there’s some subset of the community that gets really huffy about it, and those people are just garden variety assholes who happen to be trans/nonbinary. They’re basically the same as the cis Karen type who for some reason gets a stick up her ass about not wanting to be called “ma’am,” or the guy who insists on correcting you that it’s “Doctor such-and-such” if you dare to refer to him as “mister.” It doesn’t mean you should go ahead and ignore their preference, but don’t put too much stock in their opinions either.

    • thermal_shock@lemmy.world
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      10 hours ago

      I’ve felt like this. You already call people the name they asked you to call them, it’s like 3 extra brain cells work to just call them what they ask, way too much effort to mess with them or cause animosity.

      While transitioning I’m sure they understand there will be genuine mixups.

      My kids started saying “it’s not that deep” and seems to really fit here.

    • FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world
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      14 hours ago

      I just don’t use pronouns if I’m not sure, because I’ve never seen anger on the level of someone whom I’ve inadvertently misgendered, and it doesn’t seem to cross people’s minds that maybe I’m not a mind reader.

      Gender neutral language is just best overall in this scenario.

      • comfy@lemmy.ml
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        6 hours ago

        I just don’t use pronouns if I’m not sure

        Assuming this means avoiding gendered pronouns, I agree.

        In a vacuum, theoretically, our language would simply be easier without gendered pronouns. But it would be idealistic for me to therefore assert everyone should just always use neutral pronouns and be alright with that. I know some people who intentionally signal their gender feel invalidated by neutral language, so it would be insensitive and pointless for me to disrespect their preference.

        In all the societies I’m in, my approach is to default to neutral unless/until someone specifies preferred pronouns or clearly indicates their gender. I haven’t had anyone, progressive nor reactionary, object to this behavior.

    • shalafi@lemmy.world
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      15 hours ago

      Check these fields on a common job application form. Top row? Fine. The rest? I’m not taking that person seriously.

      “I’m a special little elf and I insist you address me as such.”

      • dontbelievethis@sh.itjust.works
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        6 hours ago

        At this point it gets so specific that I don’t get how it is different to a name.

        I’m already bad at remembering names so that is just another layer.

        I wish just for one that you can use on anybody and it is right.

      • jpreston1986@lemmy.world
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        14 hours ago

        Yeah I really try to be inclusive but I’m with you here, that shit is whack. You’re not a fucking bionicle. We’re all trying our best to be nice to you and your new identity, but if you ask me to call you a fairy, I’m going to laugh in your face. I’ll feel bad about it later, probably, but I will do a spit-take in the moment.

        • shalafi@lemmy.world
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          13 hours ago

          Calling it now: The top three stick and the rest will be laughed about it 20 years, if not 10.