Relatable. I learned a long time ago to simply never make plans for anything.
Eh it’s like when you find someone cute and you wonder what it would be like dating them. But then you actually start dating them and you realize they’re a whole person, not just some cute scenarios you imagined in your head. You both know it’s awkward as hell and you’re both just waiting for it to be over. You can’t wait to go back home and shit in your own toilet, but instead you have to sit on a holeless chair with a full colon. The pressure isn’t bad enough to use the gross toilets there, but it’s enough that you’re thinking more about your poop than your date.
But then you actually start dating them and you realize they’re a whole person
A life lesson one should learn as soon as possible.
The rest of this is weirdly specific. (I hope you’re doing better now.)
oh yeah I’m fine I just needed to poo
Everything come out okay?
Next thing you know you’re asking Lemmy how to hold it in for three days.
I have it on good authority tampons make fairly effective corks whichever orifice they go in
And this is why dating AI is a thing.
I hope he’s doing well for the rest of his life recovering from cocaine addiction.
His most recent special (that I’ve seen at least) was about his recovery.
Brain already gave me the Dopamine when I made the plans. There’s no more dopamine left to give me now that the plans are actually here. Now it’s just… work. Probably with… people.
Be the you future you won’t hate
The key to never missing a sunrise is to have a toddler that never misses a sunrise.
If it’s a date, I don’t really care what time it is. We get to spend the time together. A 5am a date says they’re so excited to see you they can’t wait until the evening.
Also 5am means more coffee. I love coffee.
I’ve been feeling this recently. I think a lot of it is that going anywhere and doing anything these days feels like a series of faceless companies with their hands out. It’s all a series of fees that (for me) drains the joy from whatever I make plans for.
Next stop pies, NEXT STOP PIES!!
Just snag a fresh bagel somewhere and your joy will be increased
