I wet the bed nightly for so long I thought I might be setting a world record. I made it well into age 15 when it suddenly stopped. Never found out why I did it for so long or how/why it stopped. 35 years later and while I don’t really think about it I would never be surprised if the dam broke again.
Honeytrap - internet peon edition.
I’m gently fingering my butthole right now.
I also choose to be gently fingering this person’s butthole right now.
By the time I was about 16, I had probably fucked every crevasse in my parent’s house where two objects were close enough together that my dick could touch both at the same time… Don’t know if girls have a similar phase, but puberty is weird y’all.
Pretty sure most guys also don’t have that phase
Vice president material right here!
I really hope you didn’t have any pets
Read a celebratory have their autobiography, that said when she was a girl she discovered rubbing her pussy on the carpet would make her organism, so she got addicted to that. Yes puberty is fucked, but like post above batman not getting that information out of me. Taking that to my grave.
One I remember reading, I think it was an Esquire magazine interview, where Jim Carrey told his green fuzzy rug story
I didn’t even know celebratories could organism.
Why, yes, I do have a secret I’d like to share with total strangers. This one makes me ashamed, to be honest. See, I used to have a… a G**gle account. *shudder*
i still use (NSFL language warning)
windows
please make my death long and painful lemmy
No need, it’s already death by a thousand cuts.
You’re a monster!
I’ve repented and amended my ways.
Who wouldn’t want a giggle account?
But have you installed arch?
I have. I use Artix presently.
This unlocked an old memory of my friend’s little sister putting cat food inside of her dolls.
She’d always bug us to play dolls with her. One day we obliged but were confused by this wretched fishy smell.
This little 4 year old girl said without looking up “oh yeah that’s the cat food I put in them, so the cat will play dolls with me.” Like it was the most normal thing ever. Kids do weird things.
Did it actually work? Wet cat food spoils pretty quickly and cats are usually offended by the smell at that point.
I don’t think so. I know her brother immediately told on her, we were 6yrs old in comparison and that’s what you do at that age.
So her Mom came up and yelled at her about it and took the cat food stuffed toys away. I was relieved to not have to play with his sister anymore.
After that we played “Hi Ho Cherry-o” in the dining room well she was sobbing in the living room talking to their mom, but I tuned everything out.
I never heard from them later in life. We moved away before I was out of elementary school.
Hi Ho Cherry-o
That’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time…a long time. I googled it to see if it’s what I was thinking of, the one with the plastic cherries, and yup!
Kid logic is simultaneously very clever and very silly lol. I had a cousin put BBs in her ears to keep bees out. She got an ear infection lol.
But did she get bees in her ears?
She did not.
That’s because 2 Bs are stronger than one
I vaguely remember cutting doll clothes and their hair, with scissors. Then I was banned from using scissors for a quite while. What the logic behind was, that I do not remember. Later though, I cut a hand off from one, but that was, because I wanted to play with the doll being a crippled warrior.
I remember playing with food and toys as a toddler
Is Batman known for his good interrogations?
Future Bruce Wayne learned to do most of his questioning during a scene transition. That seems to be the most effective method.
*throws the Joker against wall*
Batman: Dammit, Joker, you did it, didn’t you?!
*Joker laughs hysterically*
Joker: Heehee, yes I did!
*Batman looks smugly at the mirror*
Cop: Damn, he’s good.How to be the World’s Greatest Detective: Make sure all the criminals in your city have a personal grudge against you, leave obvious calling cards, or both.
*A giant green question mark emblazoned over the decapitated body*
Batman: Hrmm. No pulse.
Gordon:: It looks like it’s the Rid-
Batman: Let’s not jump to any conclusions, Commissioner!
*Riddler drives past, frisbee’s a business card with his home address on it. Batman catches it without looking*
Batman: I’ll need to take this to the billion-dollar crime lab built under my ma- uh, bat cave.
Gordon: This city owes you so much, Batman.
Batman: I know.
Batman:
##WHERE IS IT!?!Bad guy:
*cries, pisses pants*
So you only went to second base with the barbie doll?
That’s famously the best base they’re capable of
Not if they go inside of you!
Remember to use a Barbie with a flared base
A titty in your mouth is 2nd base?
I was thinking over the clothes, hand-stuff.
Over the clothes hand stuff is a ground-rule double.
Sounds like somethig from https://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social
Pretty sure the original version of this exchange was about jerking it to 2B
when the sentence gets worse exponentially with every word
i think it gets better after sister, tbh
not if you stop at barbie
One of the many great examples where paying attention to grammar would have been really worthwhile!
At least they had a home….
I’m glad “when she wasn’t home” was part of that. Otherwise what in the fuck more So.
Kids didn’t much like the taste of dried onion meal, but they loved the doll.
90% of boys used to do this those barbie dolls were sexual af.
you alone in this one bro
Y’all are COWARDS
