- Most outrageous / unbelievable lies
- Most offensive / dangerous lies
- Most “adult meant it as genuine advice but it’s laughably out of touch” lies
- Lies you wish you still believed
- Lies you took as truth and didn’t question it until you were way too old
Animals don’t suffer when we are cruel and violent to them. They don’t have the capacity, they’re just robots.
There are only five vowels
There’s a God, and he loves you.
I was little and going through that “ask an unending stream of questions to figure out how the world works / determine the limits of your parent’s patience” phase. At one point during this my mother, who had up until this point used this as an opportunity to teach me how to research things and overall handled it with grace, began to hit her limit. And so one fine morning when I had perkily jammed myself underneath the toilet in a way that startled the living daylights out of her when she came in and I asked how toilets worked, she said in great exasperation “toilet gnomes, and you shouldn’t be down there bothering them”. This of course made perfect sense to me - someone had to crew the little boat, and humans would never fit in there.
I maintain to this day that it was an act of class solidarity that I shouldn’t be mocked for when, several days later, she found me pooping in the yard because I “didn’t want the gnomes to work too hard”.
Garden gnomes: “The fuck is this shit?”
“I will love you no matter what”
That changed real fuckin fast when i came out as trans
Sorry that happened, mate. One of our older kids is gay. Our 16 year old is non-binary. I don’t give a shit as long as they are able to thrive without assholes standing in their way. They are always welcome in my home along with any partners they find happiness with. I’m sorry I can’t be that for every child who lost the people who were supposed to have their back no matter what.
Yea same here, my mother told me that she will never be able to come to terms with my #decision
Big hugs friend …
Just an apropos of nothing …
I’ve had two friends tell me how they’re sick of this woke shit. I said, I hear more whining about woke shit than any woke shit so you’re gonna have to be specific. He said, “Chris’ kid thinks he’s trans now, like he’s too young what the fuck is that?”
I was like, “I’ve never met Chris’ kid and it seems you think they’re doing it for attention but what if they are <trans>…?”
It’s like … trans people got their own shit that they’re going through and some of my friends act like it’s their problem somehow.
The claims of “doing it for attention” are so silly to me. I can think of so many easier ways to get attention
Hard work will always lead to success, which is why anyone can be president.
Some really solid teachers in high school were able to cover why that was bullshit just by proper framing of the material.
- Hard work
- Luck
- Generational Wealth
Pick 2 for success.
I’m starting to believe some level of sociopathy is also required
“You’ll become more conservative as you get older.”
I have consistently grown more and more leftist as I’ve grown older. Rent goes up faster than taxes. [redacted] your landlord.
Heard this one a lot, guess they figured everyone would go the fuck you got mine attitude of the boomers, not realizing that you can’t onboard the youth while maintaining full unmasked racism and marginalizing the value of the same youths perspectives. Another one is “you’ll understand when you’re older” which to the surprise of no one thing he “when you’re older” part never matures in discussions with these types.
Rent goes up faster than taxes.
And isn’t it fun when rent goes up even when the mortgage does not? And especially when the mortgage is fully paid off?
I was also told that about conservatism. Actually understanding conservatism and capitalism - and how fascism is essentially the corporate state - has bodily yeeted me so far left that I’m two shakes away from being an anachro-communist.
Is this “Conservative” as in the political affiliation though, or “moderate/cautious”? I think one thing is that current “Conservatives” are anything but
Conservstive as in “back then everything was better, we should get back to that”
“Conservative” as in hating taxes and loving capitalism
“When you grow up, you can be anything you want to be.”
I wanna be a homeowner.
To be fair, “grown up” could be 19 or 95 :) so keep trying!
“Penguins are mammals” said to me as an offhand comment by a friend’s older brother. I didn’t question it till embarrassingly late in life.
“It’s ok we (white people) took the land from the Indians because we make better use of it, and can sustain a much larger population on it.” Said by my teacher to the third grade class.
“You’ll become more conservative as you get older” heard this one quite a bit from people who didn’t wanna face facts about the world.
“Global warming is a myth” oh if only that were true. We’re so fucked
See first answer. Seriously, they’re obviously birds!
“You’ll become more conservative as you get older” heard this one quite a bit from people who didn’t wanna face facts about the world.
Probably also lead poisoning
Trade schools are for those who couldn’t make it into college.
I would have absolutely gone into welding if I had been told the honest truth about what the trades can earn.
Better live in a country where welders qualify for early retirement then, as the welders I’ve known have all developed issues with their eyesight, often starting in their late 20s or early 30s. Yes there’s a mask and every professional welder uses it because they know just how quickly they’d fuck up their eyes otherwise, but even then you’re still staring at a spark for a significant portion of your workday.
Health-wise, it’s one of the worse trades to get into because of that. Financially, of course… that’s probably part of why it pays so well.
I’ve noticed that when people talk about not needing a college degree, they always mention welding. I’ve personally never met a welder, but it seems they’re the gold standard of blue collar work. Why is that?
Welding is like sewing. Any old mug can darn a sock… but to repair a historically important high quality silk sock to such a high standard that the repair is invisible to the naked eye takes an elite level of crafts(wo)manship that very few would ever attain. Not a perfect analogy but close enough…
I understand that welding takes skill. But I’m more wondering why I’ve personally talked to several parents/grandparents with kids about to graduate highschool with poor grades - and nearly everyone of those people has said that college isn’t the right choice for their kid, so they’re going to go into the trades and become a welder.
So far, none of the kids I’m referring to have actually become a welder. Are those family members saying their kid is going to become a welder because of the skill involved at the highest level of the craft? Is welding the blue collar equivalent of becoming an artist?
I think it might just be a combination of “clean” employment, decent pay, but perhaps most importantly the professional welders I knew were all single and spent months away at a time on jobs. I guess if your outgoings are practically zero then your wage is comparatively that much larger.
The only way to get somewhere in this life is to get a business college degree.
Burger flippers are worthless.
Trash collectors make terrible pay for dirty work conditions.
I love you.
Funny it’s the fattest, fast food eating fucks that say burger flippers are worthless. Idiots.
That’s my general response to that. Someone who pays a hooker for their services isn’t better than a hooker. Someone who pays McDonalds for a burger isn’t better than the guy cooking it. If you’re so much better than them, why the fuck are you paying them for their skills? Either you’re worth less than the lowest person in your own mental heirarchy, or - an idea - everyone is equally worthy.
my father said you are gay if you don’t like sports and you read books.
Turns out it was just a coincidence
With liberty and and justice for all.
The classic “if you eat watermelon seeds, one will grow in your stomach.”
Haha just told this to my daughter today
My parent’s friend told me that wind was caused by trees swaying and I looked pretty stupid when I proudly told my class this fact as a high school senior.
Oof.
